body language - background and history

body language - background and history

Philosophers and scientists have connected human physical behaviour with meaning, mood and personality for thousands of years, but only in living memory has the study of body language become as sophisticated and detailed as it is today.
Body language studies and written works on the subject are very sparse until the mid-1900s.
The first known experts to consider aspects of body language were probably the ancient Greeks, notably Hippocrates and Aristotle, through their interest in human personality and behaviour, and the Romans, notably Cicero, relating gestures to feelings and communications. Much of this early interest was in refining ideas about oration - speech-making - given its significance to leadership and government.

10 ways to build rapport with people

Building rapport and engaging with people-whether it’s in person or online—takes practice. Much of it is based on intuition. It’s about creating a bond, link, connection, and understanding. 

The goal is to connect with others and get them thinking, feeling, reacting, and involved. It doesn’t matter if you’re in sales, own a business, or work for someone else. Rapport building is an art and skill in communication that’s used daily in all of our relationships.
Here are 10 tips to help you get in sync with others and build rapport:

If Politics is Big Business, Then Should Politicians Be Minding Their Manners?

In busi­ness, you should never speak ill of your co-workers, man­agers or com­pe­ti­tion.. You should always do your research on your com­peti­tors and you should under promise and over deliver. By not fol­low­ing these sim­ple rules, you will more than likely not be suc­cess­ful – unless your busi­ness is politics.
Pol­i­tics is big busi­ness and in pol­i­tics all is fair – includ­ing lying. Remem­ber these famous pres­i­den­tial quotes: “Read my lips, no new taxes,” “I did not have sex­ual rela­tions with that woman,” or “We’ll have the nego­ti­a­tions tele­vised on C-SPAN.”
Since pol­i­tics is busi­ness then the Pres­i­dent is like the CEO of Amer­ica and we are the share­hold­ers in the com­pany. As share­hold­ers, shouldn’t we expect our CEO to lead by exam­ple and get us a higher return on our invest­ment – (insert your own econ­omy joke here.)
While the Pres­i­dent was out stump­ing for Martha Coak­ley dur­ing her Mass­a­chu­setts Sen­ate race, he not only embar­rassed him­self but also offended me and count­less other share­hold­ers. Dur­ing a speech, Pres­i­dent Obama said that he did not know the oppo­nent or his record. This is our CEO? How could he go out and sup­port some­one and not know what their oppo­nent stands for or his record? This shows an unac­cept­able lack of prepa­ra­tion and care.
Dur­ing this same speech, Pres­i­dent Obama mocked the oppo­nent, which crossed the line and offended me and count­less oth­ers. It was in response to a cam­paign ad run by the oppo­nent, Scott Brown. His ad fea­tured him dri­ving around in his pickup truck and talk­ing to vot­ers – show­ing off his com­mon man image. Well, the Pres­i­dent said that every­one can run slick ads and every­one can buy a truck.
Mr. Pres­i­dent, I guess you haven’t noticed the econ­omy lately – maybe you’ve been pre­oc­cu­pied with health care. Well, I can­not buy a truck. Between two kids in col­lege, a strug­gling busi­ness and try­ing to keep the roof over our head and food on the table, a truck, new or used, is some­thing my hus­band or I could not qual­ify for. So, no, not any­body can buy a truck and I’m sure I’m not alone in this.
The President’s attempt at humor blew up in his face and should have been averted all together. I under­stand that he is doing his best to sup­port his party, but as the Pres­i­dent he should remain impar­tial towards the opponent.
What does this polit­i­cal rant have to do with eti­quette? Every­thing! Since pol­i­tics is big busi­ness and the Pres­i­dent is our CEO, he needs to adhere to the rules of busi­ness eti­quette and he has failed mis­er­ably. He has spo­ken ill of the com­pe­ti­tion. He has been unpre­pared for a speech and he has offended his shareholders.
Before Pres­i­dent Obama makes another speech or his speech­writer, Jon Favreau, writes another speech, I will be more than happy to meet with them and give them and their staff a refresher course.
Jules Hirst is an eti­quette instruc­tor based in Los Ange­les, who believes it is never too late to make a last­ing impres­sion. She teaches classes for chil­dren, teens and adults. She is Pres­i­dent of For A Jul Pro­duc­tions, a wed­ding and event and eti­quette con­sult­ing firm. Learn more at For A Jul Pro­duc­tions. She also is head of Hearts For The City, a non-profit orga­ni­za­tion teach­ing eti­quette and social skills to under­priv­i­leged chil­dren, fos­ter chil­dren and peo­ple re-entering the workforce.

Business Etiquette

State of Rebuk

Effec­tive lead­er­ship usu­ally trans­lates into suc­cess. Start­ing with a clear vision, the leader needs to make this vision known and drive his peo­ple to com­plete the vision. Along the way mis­takes are bound to be made. A good leader can han­dle these sit­u­a­tions and use them to strengthen the team. Humil­i­at­ing a worker in front of all of his col­leagues is the WRONG approach, but one recently used by Pres­i­dent Obama dur­ing his State of the Union speech.
By express­ing his dis­plea­sure with the Supreme Court’s rul­ing in Cit­i­zens United v. Fed­eral Elec­tion Com­mis­sion, Pres­i­dent Obama vio­lated polit­i­cal eti­quette and scolded the jus­tices of the Supreme Court while they sat in front of him. Not only were the jus­tices scolded, but it was done in front of the entire leg­isla­tive branch of the gov­ern­ment and a national tele­vi­sion audience.
The pres­i­dent and the jus­tices do not have the tra­di­tional employer-employee rela­tion­ship because the Con­sti­tu­tion con­tains sep­a­ra­tion of pow­ers safe­guards to pro­tect our demo­c­ra­tic process. How­ever, scold­ing them in such a pub­lic forum while they were in atten­dance was an action of an inef­fec­tive leader. Pres­i­dent Obama does not have to agree with their deci­sion, but he does have to respect it and his arro­gant com­ments clearly show he does not. An effec­tive leader would pull the employee aside and han­dle this sit­u­a­tion qui­etly. Since the pres­i­dent can­not do this, a bet­ter forum for his com­ments would have been a press con­fer­ence where he could have voiced his dis­plea­sure while not embar­rass­ing anyone.
On the other hand, no employee likes to be pub­licly scolded, but when it hap­pens the employee should not attempt to show up their boss. While Pres­i­dent Obama was dis­cussing the deci­sion, Jus­tice Samuel Alito was seen shak­ing his head and mouthing the words “not true.” Once the Supreme Court has ruled on a case, the jus­tices’ work is done and it is up to the peo­ple and the leg­is­la­ture to deal with the rul­ing. Jus­tice Alito also vio­lated polit­i­cal eti­quette by fail­ing to main­tain the aura of impar­tial­ity and under­stand­ing that peo­ple are enti­tled to debate their decisions.
After an ardu­ous first year in office, Pres­i­dent Obama failed to dis­play the qual­i­ties of an effec­tive leader dur­ing his State of the Union speech. As the leader of the United States, Pres­i­dent Obama should know bet­ter and proved it may well be three long years until we can have effec­tive leadership.

Thou Should Respect Thy Co-Worker

Much has been said about the recent Specter-Bachmann show­down. Dur­ing a radio show, Rep. Bach­mann inter­rupted Sen. Specter on numer­ous occa­sions and con­tin­ued to do so after he asked her to stop. This lead to Sen. Specter telling Rep. Bach­mann, “I’m going to treat you like a lady, so act like one.“ Not sur­pris­ingly, the right is say­ing Sen.. Specter was rude and con­de­scend­ing, while the left are say­ing Sen. Specter did noth­ing wrong. 

Sen. Specter was wrong. He degraded Rep. Bach­mann. Men and women are to be treated as equals and this is espe­cially true in busi­ness and pol­i­tics. One col­league should not speak to another col­league in this man­ner. This behav­ior would not be accept­able in the board room, so it is not accept­able in politics.
Peo­ple have said that Sen. Specter did not mean any­thing by this remark and since he is 79 years old, he should be given a pass. Age is no excuse.
Sen. Specter was cor­rect when he com­pared the events that were tran­spir­ing to a tele­vi­sion talk show. These shows have peo­ple talk­ing over one another to get there point across and are a direct reflec­tion on our cur­rent soci­ety. It boils down to a lack of respect. We lack respect for one another. If we could learn to respect one another and let each per­son fin­ish their point before com­ment­ing on it, we would not run into sit­u­a­tions like this.       

Much has been said about the recent Specter-Bachmann show­down. Dur­ing a radio show, Rep. Bach­mann inter­rupted Sen. Specter on numer­ous occa­sions and con­tin­ued to do so after he asked her to stop. This lead to Sen. Specter telling Rep. Bach­mann, “I’m going to treat you like a lady, so act like one.“ Not sur­pris­ingly, the right is say­ing Sen.. Specter was rude and con­de­scend­ing, while the left are say­ing Sen. Specter did noth­ing wrong. 

Sen. Specter was wrong. He degraded Rep. Bach­mann. Men and women are to be treated as equals and this is espe­cially true in busi­ness and pol­i­tics. One col­league should not speak to another col­league in this man­ner. This behav­ior would not be accept­able in the board room, so it is not accept­able in politics.

Peo­ple have said that Sen. Specter did not mean any­thing by this remark and since he is 79 years old, he should be given a pass. Age is no excuse.

Sen. Specter was cor­rect when he com­pared the events that were tran­spir­ing to a tele­vi­sion talk show. These shows have peo­ple talk­ing over one another to get there point across and are a direct reflec­tion on our cur­rent soci­ety. It boils down to a lack of respect. We lack respect for one another. If we could learn to respect one another and let each per­son fin­ish their point before com­ment­ing on it, we would not run into sit­u­a­tions like this.     Â

Get What You Want in Business

You say more than you know without even thinking about it. What you say is actually interpreted three ways: what you say, how you say it, and your body language. Body language accounts for about 90% of the message you are sending, and a first impression is made in the first 10 seconds. This makes nonverbal communication extremely important.
In business, you can learn to use body language to your advantage. Understanding what messages you are sending and learning to read the messages sent back to you can change the whole dynamic of a business relationship. It is important to note, however, that body language is complex, and some gestures can have multiple meanings. Learning just a few aspects of nonverbal communication can take you a long way in developing successful business relationships.

POSTURE

The way you stand speaks volumes about you. Slouching can indicate low self-esteem and unease. Standing straight, with your body weight balanced on easy leg projects a positive message. It shows that you are confident and interested. However, some people tend to tense up when standing straight. Be sure that you are not holding tension in your muscles, clenching your jaw, lock your joints, or stand "at attention." This can give the impression that you are nervous and anxious. It's ok to be nervous, you just don't want to show it.

Your arms should be at your sides and relaxed. Keep your hands out of your pockets. This tells people that you are hiding something. Avoid clenching your fists, which shows aggression and tension. Your hands should be open, with your palms visible. This signifies that you are trustworthy, a valuable trait in business people.

Also, avoid crossing your arms or folding them across your chest. This may be a comfortable position for you, but it tells your listener that you are bored with them and you are closed off. It can also signal that you are not in agreement with them.

EYE CONTACT

Making direct eye contact upon first meeting someone is crucial for a good impression. This is another sign of confidence, and can also show honesty. You should maintain eye contact at least 50-60% of the time. However, there is too much of a good thing. Don't glare at them. Continually staring at a person will tend to make them uncomfortable, and it is often mistaken for aggression. It can also make them think you are just weird.

When not making direct eye contact, avoid looking down or having your eyes shift from side to side. Looking down shows insecurity, while shifty eyes indicate nervousness and dishonesty. Looking left is believed to show honesty, while looking right shows dishonesty.

Blinking is another aspect of eye contact to consider. Often, people blink frequently when they are nervous, anxious, or lying. Make a conscious effort to slow down your blinking in stressful situations. Since this is an action we generally aren't aware that we do, it may be helpful to practice this in advance when preparing for a meeting or event.

HANDSHAKES

This is a common custom in the United States. The saying is very true - you can learn a lot about someone form their handshake. It is a decent indicator of what type of person you are dealing with. A good handshake should be firm, and somewhat equal to the pressure the other person is giving, to indicate equality. A crushing handshake shows that you are trying to dominate. A "dead fish" handshake using a limp, clammy hand shows that you are insecure. Try to find an even medium.

**Some people naturally have a problem with sweaty palms, whether they are nervous or not. If you have this problem, try using antiperspirant creams or sprays to help control the dampness. Just be sure they are the invisible kind or you may leave a lasting impression for the wrong reasons.

GESTURES

Gestures, such as waving or nodding, can mean different things in different cultures. If you are dealing with clients or associates from other countries, be sure to do your research before using common American gestures. Pointing, for example, is considered rude in the Middle and Far East. Giving the "O

25 Acts of Body Language to Avoid

Practice avoiding these 25 negative gestures:

I speak two languages, Body and English.

- Mae West

Holding Objects in Front of Your Body – a coffee cup, notebook, hand bag, etc.  Holding objects in front of your body indicates shyness and resistance, such that you’re hiding behind the objects in an effort to separate yourself from others.  Instead of carrying objects in front of you, carry them at your side whenever possible.

Checking the Time or Inspecting Your Fingernails – a strong sign of boredom.  Never glance at the time when you’re speaking with someone.  Likewise, completely avoid the act of inspecting your fingernails.

Picking Lint Off of Your Clothes – If you pick lint off of your clothes during a conversation, especially in conjunction with looking downwards, most people will assume that you disapprove of their ideas and/or feel uneasy about giving them an honest opinion.  Leave the lint alone!

Stroking Your Chin While Looking at Someone – “I’m judging you!”  People frequently stroke their chin during the decision-making process.  If you look at someone while you’re stroking your chin, they may assume that you’re making a judgmental decision about them.

Narrowing Your Eyes – If you want to give someone the impression that you don’t like them (or their ideas), narrow your eyes while looking at them.  It immediately places a scowling expression on your face.  A slight narrowing of the eyes is an instinctual, universal expression of anger across various species in the animal kingdom (think about the angry expressions of tigers, dogs, etc.).  Some people make the mistake of narrowing their eyes during a conversation as a reflex of thinking.  Don’t send people the wrong message… don’t narrow your eyes.

Standing Too Close – This just makes people feel uncomfortable.  Most people consider the 4 square feet of space immediately surrounding their body to be personal space.  Cross this invisible boundary with good friends and intimate mates only.

Looking Down While in the Presence of Others – usually indicates disinterest.  Sometimes it’s even interpreted as a casual sign of arrogance.  Always look straight ahead and make eye contact when you see someone you know.

Touching Your Face During a Conversation – Face touching, especially on the nose, is commonly interpreted as an indication of deception.  Also, covering up the mouth is a common gesture people make when they’re lying.  Always keep your hands away from your face when you’re speaking.

Faking a Smile – another sign of deception commonly seen on the face of a fraud.  A genuine smile wrinkles the corners of the eyes and changes the expression of the entire face.  Fake smiles only involve the mouth and lips.  It’s easy to distinguish between the two.  Don’t force yourself to smile… unless it’s for the camera.

Leaning Away From Someone You Like – a sign of being bored and disinterested.  Some people may also interpret it to mean: “I don’t like you.”  People typically lean towards people they like and away from people they dislike.  This is especially true when they are sitting around a table.  If you lean away from someone you like, you’re sending them the wrong message.

Resting Hands Behind the Head or on the Hips – usually interpreted as a sign of superiority or bigheadedness.  Only use these gestures when you’re in the presence of close friends.

Not Directly Facing the Person You’re Speaking To – This indicates a certain level of discomfort or a lack of interest.  When we’re happily engaged in a conversation we face the person we’re speaking to with our feet and torso facing directly forward.  When we’re unsure of the other person, or not completely committed to the conversation, we tend to angle our feet and torso to the side.  Face directly forward during a conversation to give off the impression that you’re truly interested in what the other person is saying.

Crossing Your Arms – a sign of defensive resistance.  Some people may also interpret it as a sign of egotism.  Always try to keep your arms open and at your sides.

what is BODY LANGUAGE ?

Body language is a term for communication using body movements or gestures instead of, or in addition to, sounds, verbal language or other communication. It forms part of the category ofparalanguage, which describes all forms of human communication that are not verbal language. This includes the most subtle of movements that many people are not aware of, including winkingand slight movement of the eyebrows. In addition, body language can also incorporate the use offacial expressions.

One of the most basic and powerful body-language signals is when a person crosses his or her arms across the chest. This can indicate that a person is putting up an unconscious barrier between themselves and others. It can also indicate that the person's arms are cold which would be clarified by rubbing the arms or huddling. When the overall situation is friendly, it can mean that a person is thinking deeply about what is being discussed. But in a serious or confrontational situation, it can mean that a person is expressing opposition. This is especially so if the person is leaning away from the speaker. A harsh or blank facial expression often indicates outright unfriendliness.
Consistent eye contact can indicate that a person is thinking positively of what the speaker is saying. It can also mean that the other person doesn't trust the speaker enough to "take his eyes off" the speaker. Lack of eye contact can indicate negativity. On the other hand, individuals with anxiety are often unable to make eye contact without discomfort. Eye contact is often a secondary and misleading gesture because we are taught from an early age to make eye contact when speaking. If a person is looking at you but is making the arms-across-chest signal, the eye contact could be indicative that something is bothering the person, and that he wants to talk about it. Or if while making direct eye contact a person is fiddling with something, even while directly looking at you, it could indicate the attention is elsewhere.
Disbelief is often indicated by averted gaze, or by touching the ear or scratching the chin. So is eyestrain, or itchiness. When a person is not being convinced by what someone is saying, the attention invariably wanders, and the eyes will stare away for an extended period.
Boredom is indicated by the head tilting to one side, or by the eyes looking straight at the speaker but becoming slightly unfocused. A head tilt may also indicate a sore neck, and unfocused eyes may indicate ocular problems in the listener.
Interest can be indicated through posture or extended eye contact.
In BM English speaking Course each participant has to do Public speaking practise 20 times on various topics and a professional trainer corrects Grammar, pronunciation, Body Language, trains him/her to speak fluently with confidence.

How many of you have made your mind up about a speaker’s message without concerning yourself about the words, purely by observation and your intuition. And this is going on right now somewhere in the world. A business speaker has a good message but it’s being clouded by the way its presented. The purpose of this article is to remind you, convince you of some key steps to take to ensure your body doesn't cloud the message next time you get up a speak.

The Head

As adults, we still have childish habits and one of them is to focus on the face of someone who is speaking to you. So get those expressions working for you and really exaggerate the meaning. Smile, frown, look angry, shocked, amazed – but please always be congruent with your message.

Eye Contact

Next we have eye contact. This is probably the one skill, when mastered, that does the most to engage the audience and build trust and rapport with the audience. The rule is to hardly ever let go. Imagine you’re playing tennis or squash. You never let your eye off the ball otherwise you’ll miss a shot. Like wise, keep your eye contact on the audience at all times.

Careful with the lighthouse technique as well – this is where speakers sweep the audience in a repetitive swishing motion that does